After that wild and windy day,
Just as Spike predicted,
Gran had been blown clean away,
And the parson’s rightly livid.
The cussing vicar’s near to tears
As the old dear rattles past:
Her petticoat around her ears –
His congregation aghast.
The spire had toppled off the roof
And Fanny’s wig was gone.
As if he needed final proof
Of weather going wrong!
And here’s the original, one of my all time faves:
Granny
by Spike Milligan
Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)
All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)
It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny-
But most of all, it blew on Granny!
newsrealpoetry 