People love to take the mickey
Of those with privilege and money,
But silly pranks turn tricky
And then it’s no longer funny.
Caught in the midst of a tasteless joke,
Piss-taking tragedy of late
Means that I’ll no longer poke
Fun with poems at Wills & Kate.
KEEPING IT ROYAL
by Alex Barton Sept ’12
Deep in remotest South of France
Kate thought she’d like to take the chance
To lie by the pool under Provençal soleil
Sipping a fruity Beaujolais.
Apparently she lit a Marlboro Light too,
But this is conjecture and probably not true.
Pleasantly warmed by late summer sun
She noticed her bikini top come undone.
An all over tan seems like a good idea
‘I’m sure no one can see me from over here’.
Unbeknownst to the innocent young thing
A paparazzo’s lens was zooming in.
‘Sacré bleu’ and ‘Oh là là’,
The Duchess of Cambridge without a bra!
The Duke of Cambs said ‘We’re not amused
That our right to solitude has been abused.
Kate has been snapped without her top
Intrusion like this has got to stop!’.
Invasion of privacy: quelle horreur;
They’re out to get that editeur.
Photos that caused shock-waves and ripples
At the unusual sight of royal nipples.
The French think they need to keep it real
Bare boobs in France are no big deal;
Typically British to be such a prude
We do it all the time: there’s nothing rude.
The Palace feel this carry-on is lewd
And will make certain that the culprits are sued.
The lawyers accepted the case in a flash:
A job like this will make tons of cash
Most people don’t care: they’re only tits,
We’re all of us human and got the same bits.
Never mind Kate, your dignity’s intact.
It could have been much worse, in fact.
Remember Fergie all those years ago
Caught sucking that balding Texan’s toe?
Now that the unwelcome peeping’s been curbed
You can enjoy your tanning undisturbed.