Poetry, Uncategorized


What a blow to English prudity,

Another case of royal nudity.

Prince Harry makes the headline story:

Snapped in all his Ginger Glory.

“Naked billiards, my favourite game,

Stripper Spike is my name.

I’m under orders to go starkers,

And you’re a bunch of nosey parkers.

Tally-ho! I showed my knob –

Only trying to do my job”.

Military spending has been reined in:

Fatigues have been thrown in the bin.

The M.O.D. has stipulated

That defence cuts will be implemented,

Troops are being packed off to war

With guns and tanks, and nothing more.

Deployed to Helmand, Camp Bastion

Without a stitch of clothing on

Tally-ho! Take off your kit,

Don’t our fighting lads look fit?

Winning over hearts and minds

With birthday suited bare-behinds.

On patrol in the altogether,

Perfect for the Afghan weather.

The sight of British Soldiers’ bits

Will scare insurgents out their wits.

Mind where you sit, please keep it clean,

And don’t forget to apply sun-cream.

Tally-ho! Taliban,

Victory in Afghanistan


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