Dear Mr Miliband,
The thing we cannot stand
Is the nasal way you’ve got
Of talking like you’re full of snot.
So at this party conference
Before imparting your deliverance
Take a cotton handkerchief,
Red spotted is advised, first sniff,
Then give a loud and mighty blow
To augment and enhance your rhinal flow.
It will make the Labour Party’s day
To be addressed in a de-congested way.